tidbits

There is a very cool blog where the writer is making a film to honor and represent Kyle Lake's last sermon. Check it out

Also, here is a person's road of faith and the choices one can face. A Playgirl no-show

So the script that Dan is working on for the class project is in 3rd revision, it is coming along really well. I am a novice to this part of the processs so it has been good to see it (from the seeds of an idea to production). It doesn't hurt Dan is getting help from an Oscar-winning writer.

Well, my day is full, I must get to it. Enjoy life, people.

Authority

Currently I am reading a book called To Own a Dragon by Donald Miller. He writes a very personal book about what it was like growing up without a dad and how God has been teaching him about the love of a father with certain men in his life, namely Jon MacMurray. I think this book is great. As I read it this morning, it made me cry because I just very much get what he feels and has felt. It is like the words lept off the page at me and said "you have felt that" or "you are resentful of authority too". It isn't always glamorous to say you have a rebellious personality when it comes to adults due to the fact your dad left you to fend for yourself as a kid. The odd thing is, if I look at my life...the big picture, God has been "fathering" me my whole life (whether I see it or not). That is weird. I want to explore what that means a bit more. At the end of the day, I want more than a head knowledge of my God. I want to know his heart.

that's all...

peace

a mission

No matter what it looks like, I want to live with a purpose but not for acceptance but out of love for others.

Yes, please.

peace.

Quick note!

Just had to drop this post in so you could go look at one adorable baby! As I posted before Blake and Amanda had thier baby on Feb7, and he is the cutest! Take a peek!

HERE

Blogs

I get such a kick out of reading other people(s) blogs. I spend time each day "checking in" with folks from all over the place. Each and every person has such a different perspective of life and I think people sometimes write the words I think but can hardly express.

I can't say I know these people but I can say there is a sense of friendship (in an online-might- never-meet-them-kind-of-way-but-if-I-did-that-would-be-cool).

This week is jammed packed with work (at the bank again) and research for that film project (just when I thought we were moving to the next phase!). Apparently we had an award winning screenwriter look over the script a guy from class wrote and he had alot to say...there will be a few revisions apparently! Very common for there to be many drafts before a script is ready. I'll keep you posted...

On a different note, two days ago I fell apart emotionally. I havent felt so down in a long time. I can't even explain what it was. Maybe discouragement, or something. I don't even know. I know I thought it had to do with the fact my dating life is sucking right now, but I think that is only a surface issue. It is deeper than that. Thank God for my friends though. They are such a comfort to me. With their loving words and encouragement, they always point me back to God. I am reminded I am loved. Deeply. Not just by this "person" way out there but be a living, breathing Person--and he has connected with me through my friends/loved ones.

Thanks Jesus for being so near. I don't know how to say this any other way than without Jesus I would be hard pressed to find a way to make it through some of the darker moments.

Be back later. Peace out, gang.

State of grace

Why is it so hard to reach out to people. To be vulnerable.

Vulnerability...love and grace....to not be perfect and let someone see that side of you. To receive love.

God, show me where my perceptions are twisted.

What is busy-ness?

My blogging has been inconsistent because I am keeping myself busy. I find that the "people" around me like when I am busy, it seems to elavate my worth versus if I spend alot of time reading or whatever. Why is that? Is that just a perception I have? Part of me doesnt think so because now that I am more "active" less people tell me "get a job" or "what are you going to do with the rest of your life". What is the big hurry anyway...I happened to have stumbled on something I really love to do but what if I didnt until I was 40, what is it to people? Why do they feel the need to live my life for me? Plus, whose to say the thing I pick is a forever thing, maybe it is for a few years and then I go to Africa and live there digging ditches for irragation. Does it really matter as long as we are living and loving?

I could be supporting my tendency toward introspection and being lazy...I don't know...just my mind's ramblings.

Take care.

free time

Today I noticed that as I get up, I have nothing to do. Well, other than a phone call and run to the store later. My natural response and also that of those around me is that I fill my day. Keep it busy because surely if I am not busy than I am a lazy person. (this is especially hard for me since I can actually be quite lazy sometimes)--- I really want to take a breather. Rest.

That is the "tension" of me, today.

I wanted to give a huge shout out to a great couple who had their first baby on Feb 7th! Amanda and Blake, congrats. When I see pics I will be sure to post them. :)

PS One thing I noticed is that many people have come to check me out but few comment.
"Hey! No fair, it is time to come out of hiding...."

"pre-pre-production"

So we have started the first class project and it is titled 100MPG. It is a docudrama/true story about a young man named Tom Ogle who created (and patented) a device which would get 100 miles per gallon. It would have revolutionized the industry. However, four years later he is broke and dead from an overdose. We are seeking to explore "what happened?" (hopefully filling in some of the blanks). This could be a really interesting story. My teacher hopes to enter it into Sundance next year if it has legs. We shall see. So far we are just in the scriptwriting and research phase.

Not much else. Be well!

peace,
mel

Slow down

This week I have been so busy, partially I have made it that way. Filling each little moment of time other than sleeping hours. Well, today, Jesus had me stop and relax tonight. I was driving to get some dinner over at a local chicken place (Pepe's Chicken). I glanced over and saw a homeless man by the road, his cart and all. It came instantly to mind, " I want to get that guy something to eat." So I did. Then I went to drop it off and proceeded to talk with him. I never asked his name but I did find out he was heading to El Paso since Colorado is too cold this time of year. As I left I very discreetly gave him the money I had in my pocket. (I thank God for the opportunity to help someone...and show kindness). I want it to be very clear I do not relay this story from a "look at me place" but to show I need to slow down and live among people, loving and living along the way. I have two tendencies-isolate or completely busy. So God, thanks. You never cease to amaze me. I asked for you to keep my heart soft and generous to others, sure enough, the door is OPEN.

I don't get it!

Well, I had a really weird thing happen. I got an invite to go to a movie at a cool art house theatre. Then I gave the days I could go. We planned for tuesday, only to find out his fam was in town and he couldnt go. Then I say, ok, stuff happens...wednesday then. Oh wait, he emails and says that he is stuck at the dealership trading in his car. Strike two on the "go to the movie plans". I go anyway and enjoy it. Great movie called Thumbsucker...sweet, simple, and quirky...some sad stuff too. Today I decide ignoring him is very adolescent plus he is in my class. I wrote him an email to just say I went and enjoyed the flick. Nothing...zip, nada. I would love to say I am above being a little peeved about this, BUT I am not- I'm peeved. I just hope that I am relaxed about it all by Saturday because honestly he has done nothing really wrong except sting my pride. I don't know though how eager I would be to make new plans :)~

I think my perspective and experiences would lead me to take this very personally. I am not gonna go there anymore. By grace.

Deep breaths...keep chugging along.